#1: "It will be okay. It will work out."

When an infertile has decided to confide their woes to you please know that you are special, and considered a very close friend to the infertile. They did not simply drop this knowledge on you; they chose the moment very carefully and the words were chosen with as much care.

But, thank you for trying to comfort us with these words.

What we are not saying is, "How do you know? How do you know it is going to work out or be okay? How can you tell me that you think it is going to be okay when you do not know anything about what I am going through?"

It may not be okay, and when we hear these words from people, we just feel that much more alone, and humiliated. And we know that you are not ready to listen to us, or to talk to us about what we are going through. You might as well have said, "Well just smile, and the world be will happy and all the problems of the world will be resolved."

What you can say is, "That sounds really difficult. What can I do to help you right now?" Or, "Wow. That sounds tough. I need a few moments to process that information. Thank you for telling me what you are going through."