#13 Think of all the fun you get to have trying

Marie's mom accidentally said this to her and for the first time in her life Marie raised her voice with her mom.

FUN? You think THIS is FUN!!!! ARE YOU NUTS???

We are no longer spontaneous.  We both carry a calendar with us 24/7 and we have to think about the "store". The store has to be stocked on that "special day" or else there is no point going shopping.

We have to plan, plan, and plan again for sex. It is scheduled. It is sometimes scheduled at 2AM because the shot given at the doctor's office says that the swimmers should be in the pool at a very exact number of hours after the shot is administered.

Yes, infertile couples sometimes have to set an alarm to "go shopping". Super fun!

If you have not had to work at getting pregnant, and we thought we would never really have to work at it, then it is fun. For the first couple of months it is fun, but after awhile it gets frustrating, and the fun flits out the window. It doesn't mean it isn't good, it just means it is not always fun.

Please say "that sounds tough, do you want to talk about it?".

#12 You just need to relax.

Have you ever been upset about something and somebody tells you "you need to calm down" or "are you mad?"

That seething sensation that runs from your eyebrows to your socks is the same seething feeling an infertile feels when told to "relax".

Trying to get pregnant, for someone who does not really have to try, is relaxing. But for an infertile person, it is NOT relaxing AT ALL! It is frustrating and being told to relax is one of the least helpful things you can say.

What you can say is "that sounds tough. Do you want to talk about it?"