#11 What have you tried?

Unless you are the doctor involved in the situation, then please imagine this situation:

There is a water drainage problem on your property.  You research how to fix the problem, and go to work.  You think you have the solution, but alas, the next rain storm there is a problem. So you try something else, same result. And so forth until you are frustrated with the drainage problem.
 

 

The next party you attend you casually drop the drainage problem into the conversation. Everyone starts to give you suggestions about what to do. You find yourself nodding along, and saying "tried that" and "that too" followed by "that didn't work either".  You get frustrated with the people with whom you are speaking, and eventually change the subject.

Now, same situation.  Except you are now discussing your sex life and all the parts of your body that are covered by a bathing suit. That is why infertiles hate this question! 

Thank you for asking about my sex life. Not weird at all.

#4: I know someone who tried....

We have all heard the stories about so-and-so who tried this-and-that, and BELIEVE me, when an infertile gets to the point of calling the doctor they have tried everything that is published on the web about getting pregnant.

They tried:

Getting drunk.

 

Going on vacation.

 

The pregnancy diet.

 

The timing method.

 

The ovulation kits.

 

The pillow under the butt (and maybe even a handstand or two).

 

ALL positions that anyone else tried and achieved success.

 

Laying down for hours after the "process".

 

Laying with their feet propped on their head board in order for gravity to help.

 

Reading the books about how to get pregnant. And about how to NOT get pregnant.

 

Drinking the tea that their great aunt Florence said, "always worked for them".

 

Performing the act every-single-day of the month. (Or every other day.)

An infertile will probably smile politely and thank you for your advice. They may also snap back, "Tried it. It didn't work."  (One of us, the one without much tact might even snap back, "yes, and it obviously worked because I am currently 17 months pregnant with triplets!")

#2: Are you charting?

 

One of us heard this from a good friend after the "infertile" bomb was finally dropped.

The one of us that heard this tried, without success, to stifle the fall-out-of-your-chair laughing fit.

 

What was not said: "NOoooOOOO!!! Well damn! I have been at this for more than a year now, and not ONCE, not even at the doctors office did this thought surface!"  Of course, dripping with sarcasm.

What was said, "Um, yeah...starting on day 1. That is one of the few things that I remembered from high school health class!"

The friend did apologize and said, "Why would I say that? Of course you tried that! Sorry."